Helping Friends with their Mental Health 

How do I know if someone has a mental health problem?

Although certain symptoms are common with specific mental health problems, no two people behave in exactly the same way when they are unwell. If you know the person well, you may notice changes in their behaviour or mood.

Below are some signs of common mental health problems.

Signs of depression - people who are depressed may:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

• Have low confidence.

• Lose interest in activities they normally enjoy.

• Lose their appetite.

• Get tired easily.

• Be tearful, nervous or irritable.                                                                                                      

• At worst they may feel suicidal.

Signs of anxiety – people experiencing anxiety may:

• Have difficulty concentrating

• Be irritable

• Try to avoid certain situations

• Appear pale and tense

• Be easily startled by everyday sounds

Panic attacks:

Panic attacks are usually a sign of anxiety. Someone having a panic attack experiences a sudden and intense sensation of fear. They may breathe rapidly, sweat, feel very hot or cold, feel sick or feel faint.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

Self-harm:

Some people who are distressed deliberately harm their bodies, usually secretly, using self-harm as a way of dealing with intense emotional pain. They may cut, burn, scald or scratch themselves, injure themselves, pull their hair or swallow poisonous substances.

More severe mental health problems:

Some people experience a severe mental health problem, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. They may have periods when they experience their own or a different reality. They may hear voices, see things no-one else sees, hold unusual beliefs, feel exceptionally self-important or read particular meanings into everyday events.

How can I help?

It is important not to wait and lose time. Waiting and hoping they will come to you for help might lose valuable time in getting them support.

Talking to someone is often the first step to take when you know they are going through a hard time. This way you can find out what is troubling them and what you can do to help. Here are 8 tips for talking about mental health:

• Set time aside to provide an open and non-judgemental space with no distractions.

• Let them share as much or as little as they want to. Let them lead the discussion at their own pace and don’t pressure them into telling anything they aren’t ready to talk about.

• Don’t try to diagnose or second guess their feelings. You are not a medical expert, so try to not jump in to quickly with your own diagnosis or solutions.

• Keep questions open ended. Say "Why don’t you tell me how you are feeling?" rather than "I can see you are feeling very low".

• Talk about wellbeing. Exercise, having a healthy diet and taking a break can help protect mental health and sustain wellbeing.

• Listen carefully to what they have to say. Repeat what they have said back to them to ensure you have understood it.

• Offer them help in seeking professional support and provide information on ways to do this. You might want to offer to help with making an appointment with the GP, to go to the appointment with them, or help them talk to a friend or family member. Try not to take control and allow them to make decisions.

• Know your limits. Ask for help if the problem is serious. If you believe they are in immediate danger or they have injuries that need medical attention, you need to take action to make sure they are safe.

• Make sure to look after yourself. It is important to look after your own mental health too, so you have the energy, time and distance you need to be able to help others.

How do I respond in a crisis?

People with mental health problems sometimes experience a crisis, such as breaking down in tears, having a panic attack, feeling suicidal, or experiencing their own or a different reality. Even if you feel a sense of crisis too, it is important to try to remain calm yourself. 

There are some general strategies that you can use to help:

• Listen without making judgments and concentrate on your needs in that moment.

• Ask them what would help them.

• Reassure and signpost to practical information or resources.

• Avoid confrontation.

• Ask if there is someone they would like you to contact.

• Encourage them to seek appropriate professional help.

• If they have hurt themselves, make sure they get the first aid they need.